Jeffrey Platts

Be Like The Earth (The Power of Self-Approval)

Written by on January 22, 2010

Do you ever find yourself seeking someone’s approval?  Or trying to “prove your worth” to someone you really like (or maybe even don’t like)?  I know I’ve had my moments.

Well, check this out right here:  When you try to “prove” something, you are implying that it’s currently not true.  I don’t see any scientists out there trying to prove that the earth is round.  That’s because it’s a given that the Earth is round.

People can sense when you’re trying to kiss their ass.  Your doubting yourself often just turns into them doubting you.  And it’s just exhausting for everyone.  Like the woman who says to the guy “I think you’re just too good for me.”  Eventually the guy is gonna agree with her.  And if they somehow actually feel good about themselves by you kissing their ass?  Well, that’s not exactly the foundation of a healthy relationship.

The more confident you are in your own truth, the less it matters whether or not anyone agrees with you. – Alan Cohen

So let go of this whack notion that you need to prove you’re worthy of someone else’s time, love or attention.  Even if you DO get the approval, it’s from outside of you, so it’s out of your control and that person could disapprove of you in the very next moment.  But your own approval is totally under your control.  Do your best to go into a conversation, a date or an interview fully connected with the goodness, beauty and brilliance that is already YOU.  Assume your own value.

Be like the Earth.  It knew it was round the whole time.  It wasn’t waiting around for some ignorant homo-sapiens to finally agree.

3 Questions:

  1. In what ways and situations do you observe yourself seeking approval from people?
  2. Is it giving you the ultimate outcome you want?
  3. What could you do to feel more connected to your own inherent goodness next time you find yourself in a similar situation?

Jeffrey Platts is a men's coach and authentic communication expert who is passionate about helping men create amazing relationships with women. With over 20 years of personal study and transformational training, he has led nearly 200 workshops and retreats on personal growth, dating, and communication. Jeffrey's work and writing has been featured in the Huffington Post, Washington Post, ABC News, Authentic Man Program and the Good Men Project. He brings a rich toolbox of insights and experiences to his facilitation, integrating his adventures as DJ, amateur stand-up comedian, salsa dancer, yoga teacher and world traveler.