There are too many times to even bother counting.
No matter what evidence was literally IN MY FACE to demonstrate my own natural attractiveness, my mind automatically discounted any hot woman being into me as some fluke. You could have an army of my bros tell me “dude, she’s totally INTO you!” and I would come back with my stock of “yeah, but…”.
As a very shy, very pimply, very nerdy teenager, I had plenty of “reasons” to justify why a girl wouldn’t be into me. That mindset was so ingrained that through my early 20s I even kept a written list of all the girls who had ever demonstrated interest in me. I even came across the list last month as I purged through my old shoeboxes. It’s funny now to think that I needed to carry this list around with me just to remind me that I’m not some repulsive troll.
After a while I began to see that my lack of confidence in my own natural mojo was just pushing women away. Despite whatever initial attraction might be there, thinking that someone is into you because of some fluke of nature just gets old really fast. Even if you don’t say verbalize it, you can’t hide your energy. So I just sabotaged myself, not just in dating, but in relationships. I was my own c*ckblock.
My story of why they’re probably not really into me got proven to be true, time and time again. But only because I created it. It took several pushed-away girlfriends for me to wake up and realize that, dammit, I’m a good guy with lots of badass things to offer a woman. I’m not perfect and have my share of vices and virtues, but I have a good heart and genuinely want a deep, loving connection with a woman. And like everyone on this planet, I don’t help anyone by playing small. This isn’t about being cocky or being better than someone else. Nor is it about being delusional when someone really isn’t into you. It’s about celebrating the unique awesomeness that you have.
Here are a few things I invite you check out.
Click on this image for fun cartoon on a similar theme:
Jeffrey Platts is a men's coach and authentic communication expert who is passionate about helping men create amazing relationships with women. With over 20 years of personal study and transformational training, he has led nearly 200 workshops and retreats on personal growth, dating, and communication. Jeffrey's work and writing has been featured in the Huffington Post, Washington Post, ABC News, Authentic Man Program and the Good Men Project. He brings a rich toolbox of insights and experiences to his facilitation, integrating his adventures as DJ, amateur stand-up comedian, salsa dancer, yoga teacher and world traveler.