Jeffrey Platts

Are You On Victim Auto-Pilot?

Written by on August 14, 2017

“Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.” — Eckhart Tolle This quote is one one of my biggest mantras that I always come back to. Whenever I’m riding through life on victim auto-pilot, I

Why I Kept Feeling Like Shit For Years (And How Switching One Letter Saved Me.)

Written by on August 7, 2017

For several years, I struggled with depression. Low, dark moods that kept lingering around. And only now looking back do I see a big factor that contributed to that. I kept FEEDING those feelings. I made things 10 times worse

3 Issues That Enable Men to Stay Boys

Written by on June 10, 2017

Those are questions that are on many women’s minds. The men they meet and date feel more like lost boys than empowered men. Here are three reasons why some guys might not be living fully as the powerful men they

Bro, Why Sex Won’t Heal Your Broken Heart

Written by on June 10, 2017

As men, we typically aren’t that skilled in dealing with emotions. Hell, we often aren’t that skilled at noticing our emotions. But no event has the more power to force us to notice and feel our emotions as a breakup. Whether you’ve been

You’re Going To Have To Start Doing The Work At Some Point

Written by on March 28, 2017

My dear brother, the sexy, well-matched woman you want to meet isn’t going to just show up at your bathroom door while you’re on the toiling swiping left and right on your dating app.  You’re going to have to get

You’re Doing Validation Wrong

Written by on March 21, 2017

Today I looked up the etymology of the word “validation”. Not the modern definition, but the ROOT of the word. Here’s what I found—from Latin validus, “strong, effective, powerful, active,” from valero, “be strong” So at its core, validation is

“I’D BUY YOU A DRINK BUT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO PUT OUT”

Written by on March 20, 2017

Two days ago I was at a bar. Not because I like bars. I don’t. But because I wanted to watch the final of the Brazil x Germany Olympic soccer match. And this particular bar was the only place that was

The Goal of Being In A Relationship Is Not Enough

Written by on March 20, 2017

Getting a girlfriend or wife is one thing. But to be in a relationship with a woman who is WELL-MATCHED, is a whole other level.  What does that even mean? Well, it first requires you to know (and continually discover)

There Is No “One” Archetype of Manliness

Written by on March 20, 2017

For every stereotypical “archetype” of guy that you think you “need” to be in order to attract a woman, I’ll show you a complete opposite archetype that also attracted an amazing woman. I see it time and time again in

Bro: Be The Woman You Want To Meet

Written by on March 20, 2017

Wait, what? Hear me out. Your next long-term girlfriend (or wife or life partner) is already out there. RIGHT NOW. And if you are anything like me, you prefer a woman who values: Personal growth. Self-awareness. Self-expression. Empowered communication. Now,

Stop Being A Silent Man

Written by on January 6, 2016

If you are a good man, the world is desperately for you to get louder. This isn’t about introversion/extroversion. Or if you’re “alpha” or not. It IS about the palpable energy and relief that comes from a man who is

I Had Confidence All Wrong

Written by on September 10, 2015

The other day I looked up the etymology of the word “confident.” From the Latin origin, it means “with” (com) + “trust” (fidere). So when someone is confident, that means that they are fully trusting themselves. For years, I envisioned

There is No Such Thing as a Real Man

Written by on August 11, 2015

Every week I see another list or article titled something like “How To Know If You’re Dating A Real Man.” Or I hear a woman on a talk show complaining that she just wants to date a “real man.” Well,

Talking About A Problem Doesn’t Solve It

Written by on August 10, 2015

“If you can talk brilliantly enough about a problem, it can create the consoling illusion that it has been mastered.” — Stanley Kubrick This is a powerful quote. I know I can get so wrapped up in the art of

Confession: I Like To Watch Sports

Written by on October 29, 2014

There seems so be some ideas floating around that watching or talking about sports is incompatible with (or even beneath) being spiritual or conscious or abundant or authentic. I am into meditation. I coach people to transform their lives. I

Do You Feel Invisible To Women?

Written by on August 9, 2014

4 years ago, I got fed up with feeling invisible to women. And I took action that would forever change my life. For years, I’d immersed myself in the Pick-up Artist bootcamps, read the dating ebooks, memorized “The Cube” and

What To Do When Gratitude Doesn’t Work

Written by on January 20, 2014

I used to hate the word gratitude. But then again, I hate most things that become cliché. But I also know that every cliché has truth. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Actions speak louder than words. Balloons make you

The One Question You Should Never Have To Ask While On A Date

Written by on December 9, 2013

Dating. It can get freakin’ crazy town up in here. One thing has been coming up a lot lately in conversations with clients and friends is the idea of first dates. And what I realized is that the one question

The One Trick To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Written by on November 21, 2013

One of my most annoying self-defeating habits is comparing myself to others. Other coaches. Other men. Other writers. Other entrepreneurs. Other couples. Other dancers. I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ve totally gotten rid of that habit,

2 Reasons Why You Are Invisible To The Opposite Sex

Written by on October 22, 2013

There are two simple things you’re doing that make you invisible to the opposite sex. And everyone, actually. It doesn’t really matter what your sexual orientation, culture or shoe size is. A lot of people talk about the basics of

5 Reasons Why Men Should Cry More

Written by on August 19, 2013

I went through a rough patch earlier this year and one of the things that was pivotal in my healing and growth was my choice to let my emotions flow. To become a connoisseur and student of my own emotional

Why Playing It Safe Isn’t Sexy

Written by on July 16, 2013

Looking back over my life, there were moments where I played it too safe with women. Where I waited for a clear invitation before I moved forward. Where I hid or mildly expressed my true desires and feelings for fear

11 Ways Salsa Dancing Made Me A Better Man

Written by on June 17, 2013

I used to dance for hours alone in my room to Bobby Brown and Father MC. As a quiet kid, hanging out solo with my Sony dual cassette boombox was how I kept my self busy in between school dances.

10 Ways To Destroy Your Mojo

Written by on January 10, 2012

Growing up, I was a shy, quiet, nerdy little dude with pimples. And for some reason, as scrawny as I was as a kid, I insisted on wearing extra-large t-shirts. My mojo was, you could say, not that strong.  As

I am lovable as I am. (So are you.)

Written by on December 14, 2011

In 4th grade, I was the only kid on my block that had this new thing called video games. A wicked fast Atari 800XL with stunning graphics. It gave a reason for friends come over to hang out with me.

Are You An Appreciation Junkie?

Written by on November 20, 2011

For years, I put women on a pedestal. Then I started realizing I’m pretty cool. So many times I thought the woman was awesome, which often times was true. (Other times, I quickly learned it was a total projection.) I would get

6 Ways to Create Juicier Connections With Women (And Anyone)

Written by on November 14, 2011

I used to be a horrible listener. I was so afraid of what a woman thought of me that I was always in my head trying to micromanage the entire conversation. I would stutter. I asked dumb things like “What

Do You Give Up Too Easily?

Written by on November 8, 2011

Let’s say I want to go to on a safari in Kenya.  It would be total sweetness for me to take a non-stop flight from Washington, DC straight onto a little landing strip next to my safari hut. But there

Are You The Dating Weatherman?

Written by on September 15, 2011

A few years back, before I went out on the town, I would sometimes think to myself “Tonight is the night I’m gonna find love!” And four hours later, as I walked back to my apartment alone with a bag

Why Happy Is Sexy

Written by on April 12, 2011

One of the main reasons people want to get physically fit or buy new clothes is to feel and look sexier. But it’s not guaranteed. Perhaps you’ve had this experience.  You wear an outfit that you feel really good in,

Maybe They ARE That Into You

Written by on March 11, 2011

There are too many times to even bother counting. “She was only talking to me because she was bored while she waited for her friends.” “The only reason she hooked up with me is because I’m American, and I stand

Why Regardless Is A Powerful Word

Written by on November 15, 2010

When left unobserved, my mind can play tricks on me.  The biggest trick it plays is the one where it makes me believe the lame excuses of why my future is limited or why my current reality won’t ever change.  One

Wanna Find Love? Let Go Of The Banana

Written by on September 13, 2010

Are you keeping a few friends or acquaintances on your radar as potential hookups or relationship material? Is your ex on your backup list? Are you still pining over your college crush? Well, if you want a new relationship, you’ve

You Are A Flavor

Written by on August 12, 2010

You are a flavor. Some people will find you absolutely delicious and others will find you totally repugnant. And that is a GOOD thing. You want people to like you for the flavor that you are.  And you want people

Dating In 3 Simple Steps

Written by on July 20, 2010

I get overwhelmed easily.  All my life I’ve constantly sought out information and then broken it down into simpler, easy to digest chunks.  So I wondered if the same could be applied to dating.  There are a lot of great tips

Taking Off My Social Media Mask

Written by on June 24, 2010

Take a look at your Twitter or Facebook streams and you might think all of your friends are elephant riding in Thailand or getting back from kick-ass workouts with their personal trainers. Blogs and social media sites can sometimes give

Are You Living In A Prison Of Shoulds?

Written by on June 7, 2010

Are you God?  A fortune teller?  Can you predict the future? Personally, I can’t predict the future. But my mind thinks it can. Or at least it thinks it can predict what the future (and my life) should look like.  It even passes

Can NOT Dating Improve Your Dating?

Written by on April 13, 2010

Spring is here. Nine of your friends are getting married in June. You’ve had way too many first dates pick their nose and/or fart in the past two months. Your last five online dates have simply fizzled for no apparent

Does Your Jealousy Keep You Single?

Written by on March 25, 2010

“He doesn’t deserve to be dating a hot woman like that. She’s way out of his league.” “Ugh, just look at them, laughing and holding hands.  Get a room, you two!” Jealous:  adj. painfully desirous of another’s advantages Ever experienced

You Already Know How To Be A Great Lover

Written by on March 18, 2010

47 ways to please your man with your elbow! 12 tips to give her earth-shaking orgasms with your baseball card collection! There are countless books and Cosmo articles on how to learn the most cutting-edge techniques to please your partner

500 Dates Of Bummer

Written by on March 10, 2010

Is dating a numbers game?  Is it really about just going out and dating tons of people until you find a match?  If that’s your approach, and it feels good and true to you, then keep on truckin’.  If, however, you’re

Your Soulmate WANTS You To Be Single

Written by on February 1, 2010

A shift in perspective is a powerful thing. Every now and then I’ll hear someone complain about being single. Usually a story about how they’re some kind of social pariah or less of a person because they’re still single while

Be Like The Earth (The Power of Self-Approval)

Written by on January 22, 2010

Do you ever find yourself seeking someone’s approval?  Or trying to “prove your worth” to someone you really like (or maybe even don’t like)?  I know I’ve had my moments. Well, check this out right here:  When you try to

Are you thinking bullshit thoughts?

Written by on January 14, 2010

This blog took a long time to happen. Or rather let’s say, the actual implementation of it literally took only a day. (Big thanks to David Henry and WooThemes.) The “long time” part happened because I was letting my mind’s

8 Steps To Rock Your Next Date

Written by on March 20, 2017

1. Slow down. 2. Breathe. 3. Give a shit about yourself.  4. Give a shit about her. 5. Give a shit about the connection between you and her. 6. Ask questions and share from that place. 7. Chew with your