Jeffrey Platts

You’re Doing Validation Wrong

Written by on March 21, 2017

Today I looked up the etymology of the word “validation”.

Not the modern definition, but the ROOT of the word.

Here’s what I found—from Latin validus, “strong, effective, powerful, active,” from valero, “be strong”

So at its core, validation is about STRENGTH.

It makes sense that when we’re seeking validation anywhere in our life, we’re ultimately looking to feel stronger again.

To remember our own strength.


You don’t need 100 likes on your Facebook post to feel that.

You don’t need 17 comments on your sexy new shirt.

You don’t need to fish for endless compliments from your friends.

When you’re craving validation from the outside, remember that you’re ultimately craving a feeling, experience and knowingness of STRENGTH.

And from the origin of the word, there is nothing in it that says it MUST come from outside of you.

So remember that next time you think you’re needing outside approval to be strong again.

Yes, external approval feels good and is a necessary part of the human experience.
And if you don’t learn to give it yourself consistently, the strength you seek outside of you will be the strength that eludes you inside of you.

Jeffrey Platts is a men's coach and authentic communication expert who is passionate about helping men create amazing relationships with women. With over 20 years of personal study and transformational training, he has led nearly 200 workshops and retreats on personal growth, dating, and communication. Jeffrey's work and writing has been featured in the Huffington Post, Washington Post, ABC News, Authentic Man Program and the Good Men Project. He brings a rich toolbox of insights and experiences to his facilitation, integrating his adventures as DJ, amateur stand-up comedian, salsa dancer, yoga teacher and world traveler.